Pertaining to Pilfering, Pranks and Paperwork
by LuneDe
Summary: Konan is stressed out by paperwork. To relieve her stress Pein takes Konan out on a date. The paperwork is left to Deidara and Tobi. Kakuzu also suspects Hidan of stealing his money. What is all the commotion about? Read and find out yourself! Oneshot


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…Believe it!

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Konan sighed unhappily as the pen she had been using ran of ink, that was the third one. Her frowned deepened as she looked at the papers covering the desk, she still had so much to do! Why was she in this situation again?

_Flashback _

Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!

"Ha! Scissors beat paper, I win. That means you have to do the paperwork." said Pein, dumping a pile of documents into Konan's arms.

"See you later, Konan-chan!" laughed Pein, skipping away, free from obligations. Unlike Konan.

_End Flashback_

Konan gritted her teeth angrily, how did she keep on losing? Perhaps she should use something else besides paper. It wasn't fair. She did everything around here, the cooking and cleaning, now the paperwork! Pein didn't help her at all. Would it kill him to do even a little work? Yes, she decided, giggling a little at the thought of him holding a broom then dropping dead.

"What's so funny, Konan-chan? What are you thinking about?"

Konan turned around, startled to see Pein behind her. She scolded herself silently for being so distracted that she didn't even sense him approaching.

"I was thinking about you…"

"What a coincidence, I was just thinking about you."

Konan had not quite collected her nerves yet when Pein placed a hand upon her shoulder.

"What's with all this tension?" he asked, whispering into her ear.

"Oh, have you forgotten? Not long ago you decided to be such a gentleman and leave the paperwork to me!" grumbled Konan sarcastically, flinching from his touch.

"How about I make it up to you? We can go on a date, just the two of us." Though the offer was very enticing and Konan wanted to except it but she knew that papers also had to be filled out.

"But I still have to finish these papers…" sighed Konan.

Catching Konan off guard, Pein enveloped her in a hug.

"Stop." she protested, although it sounded muffled against his chest. "I can't write like this."

"I won't let go until you agree to go out with me." said Pein. "Pwease." he added.

"Fine." said Konan, giving in. "But who's going to take care of THAT?" asked Konan, pointing at the imposing stack of papers she had yet to complete.

"I think I know someone."

------

"Sure. We'll do it because Tobi is a good-"

"Yeah! We all know!" yelled Deidara, glaring at Tobi, his Akatsuki partner.

"Sempai is so mean." said Tobi. He was wearing a hurt expression though you couldn't tell because he was also wearing a orange mask.

"We'll leave it up to you two…" said Pein.

"…so don't fight." said Konan, completing his sentence. That statement was probably aimed at Deidara who seemed to be engaging Tobi in a choke hold. Hand in hand Pein and Konan left, to leave for their and date and leave the paperwork to Deidara and Tobi.

"Help me, un!" wailed Deidara as his grip on a pen was lost once again thanks to his drool.

"You don't have to do that sempai. Just pass me those papers." said Tobi. Unfortunately those papers were lost in a puddle of goop known as Deidara's mouth hand drool.

"Never mind. I'll do all the work." said Tobi.

"Thank you, un." said Deidara hugging Tobi in gratitude.

"Uh, sempai?"

"Hmm?"

"I can't write like this."

------

"That's the ninth bowl of ramen you had!" commented Konan, staring at the tower of bowls that had appeared on the counter.

"You're like that Kyuubi kid. What was his name?"

"Sosoghay?" guessed Pein with a mouth full of ramen.

"No. That's Itachi's mentally scarred little brother."

Konan groaned as Pein moved onto another bowl of ramen, she had barely finished one.

"Don't worry Konan-chan! This will pay for the meal." said Pein, holding out a bag of coins.

"Don't tell Kakuzu but…I smashed his piggy bank." he said in a lower voice.

------

Somewhere in the Akatsuki…

"Hidan, did you take my money?!"

"I didn't take you're effing money!"

------

"The two of us are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Mr. Piggy. He was a good piggy that guarded and held Kakuzu's change. Alas he was not indestructible and was smashed by this hammer." said Hidan, holding up the hammer found at the scene of the crime. "He lived a worthy life and therefore he will not suffer an eternity being stabbed over and over again in the heart by Lord Jashin."

"Amen." completed Kakuzu.

------

Back to Pein and Konan's "date."

Konan stood up and briskly carried all the stacked bowls.

"What are you doing?" asked Pein.

"I have to wash these."

"We're at a ramen stall not back in headquarters, you don't have to do the dishes. That's the shopkeeper's problem."

"Sorry. Force of habit. I'm too use to doing everything because you lazy bums don't do anything." said Konan, referring to him and the other Akatsuki members.

"C'mon Konan-chan! Tonight is different. We get to enjoy ourselves." grinned Pein slyly as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Alarmed, Konan lost her balance and dropped the bowls she had been holding. Luckily, Pein caught her as the bowls smashed around them.

"Why didn't you catch the bowls?" asked Konan, horrified at the idea of paying for the damage. At the same time she blushed under his grip for Pein was carrying her bridal style.

"Isn't obvious? You're more precious." said Pein, causing Konan's complexion to become even more rosy. '_Not again. I let down my guard again. Why does he always get me like that? I don't even do anything to stop him…_' thought Konan.

"Who's going to pay for this?" asked Konan.

"I remember his name now. I'll put it on Naruto's tab." And that's why Naruto had to go cold turkey for a week because he couldn't afford ramen…

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"Come here." commanded Konan, dragging Pein into a shopping district.

"Why do we have to go here?" complained Pein, thinking about the hours of time he would have to spend there because of Konan's girly whims. The crowded stores, the long lines, the huge bill that will appear afterwords were all thoughts that filled Pein with dread. Nevertheless, he agreed to accompany Konan. They were on a date after all.

------

"How does this look on me?" asked Konan.

She wore a pair of jeans that perfectly matched the color of her eyes noted Pein. She also wore a navy colored, unzipped jacket that revealed the baby blue tank top that she wore underneath. Before Pein gave his opinion on how she looked, someone else did.

"You look absolutely dashing, miss! Those jeans suit your silky hair well. The problem is that tank top, I have a smaller one in stock." said the owner of the clothing store. He appeared to be an anorexic shrimp with slicked back brown or black hair, it was hard to tell since his hair was also covered with grease.

"Why, thank you." blushed Konan, thinking of the comments she had received.

Pein showed no signs of being effected by what was happening but he was and he was going to do something about it.

"Would you like to become a model here?" offered the manager.

"I-" but before Konan could complete her statement Pein zipped up the jacket she was

wearing to hide her exposed belly button and frankly dashed out of the store with his belongings. (Konan included)

"What are you doing?! Let me down!" shouted Konan for she was held in a less gentle position than from earlier in the ramen shop. Now she was slung over his shoulders like a bag of rice. Pein refused to answer and continued carrying her until they reached a bench. Then he let her down.

"Why did you drag me out here like that? We didn't even pay for this yet!" Konan said, examining her current attire.

"What would you have said?" asked Pein.

"To what?"

"Would you have excepted the job?"

"…"

"Well? What's your answer?"

"Of course not! Even if I wanted to I couldn't…"

"Why?"

"I already have a job. I am Konan of the Akatsuki and I live only to serve Pein. I wouldn't give you up for that job…" answered Konan truthfully. "Don't you know me well enough to already realize what I would have answered?" asked Konan as a tear appeared on her eye, it was threading to spill.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, wiping away the tear gently.

Konan's mood instantly changed, "I forgive you…besides you were probably just jealous."

"What?!"

"You were probably just jealous that the store owner paid attention to me."

"I was not."

"You were too."

"I was not."

"You were too."

"Was not."

"Were too."

This continued for a couple of minutes until eventually Konan won.

"You maybe able to defeat me at Rock, Paper, Scissors but this is something you can't win." gloated Konan.

"Oh-Oh Really? T-Then I'll challenge joo to another round." wheezed Pein, who was a little out of breath.

"Bring it." said Konan, but her voice was blocked out by the sound of a explosion.

"Oh. It's just fireworks." sighed Pein in relief. Allowing Deidara to be a part of the Akatsuki built up a bit of paranoia when it came to the sounds of detonations.

Pein turned his head to look at Konan who was immersed in the beauty of the other fireworks that were rapidly exploding in the sky. Konan noticed his eyes, the Rinnegan, upon her.

"Are you enjoying the fireworks?" she questioned.

"Yes."

"Then why aren't you looking at the sky?"

"I can already see the fireworks reflected in your eyes."

Konan blushed and averted her eyes.

"It's getting late. We should go home." she said, changing the topic.

"Before I forget, here's a good night kiss." said Pein, bringing his lips against hers.

'_This is what I get for letting my guard around him.' _She thought_. 'For allowing myself to be so defenseless…but this isn't too bad…_'

-------

They returned to headquarters to find a pleasant surprise, all the papers were completed.

Another surprise they found was the fact both Tobi and Deidara were asleep, they really had been out late.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Pein.

"Should we tuck them in?" said Konan.

"That and something more." grinned Pein, undoubtedly forming an evil plan in his head.

------

"Are you sure this is alright?" said Konan, feeling a little guilty.

"Tobi will thank us in the morning…"

"...if he doesn't get killed by Deidara first." interjected Konan.

"This will be his reward for helping us out with the papers. How about it?" said Pein, shifting Tobi's position so he topped Deidara. "Deidara sort of looks like a girl."

"I don't know…" worried Konan, still wondering if what they were doing was moral.

"We're doing Tobi a favor anyway." continued Pein, still trying to convince Konan.

"Isn't that," said Pein, pointing at the bed or Deidara,(It was hard to tell) "more comfortable to lie on than that desk he fell asleep on?"

"I guess you're right." said Konan, giving in to Pein's reasoning.

"Perfect." said Pein, satisfied with how he positioned Deidara and Tobi.

"Wait!" said Konan, shifting Deidara's arms so they were wrapped around Tobi's neck.

"Now we're done." giggled Konan. "Deidara is so going to strangely him in the morning."

------

"Hehe. Stop sempai, it tickles!" said Tobi as he felt something warm against his neck.

"Wait a minute, what is sempai doing in Tobi's bed? What is Tobi doing on top of sempai? Oh no! I squashed Deidara-sempai to death!" panicked Tobi, shaking Deidara awake.

"Wha-What's going on, un?" said Deidara in a confused stupor. "No, hold still swirly blanket. I want to sleep a little longer." complained Deidara.

"It's me Tobi."

"To-Tobi?" asked Deidara, it took a while for him to register in his sleepy mind what Tobi had said. When he did Deidara became steamed.

"What?! Get off me, un!"

"Don't kill me sempai! I don't know how this happened, honestly! Besides you still need me, I'm your swirly blanket, right?" said Tobi, trying to convince Deidara not to kill him.

Deidara was not convinced.

Somewhere in the kitchen Pein and Konan were calmly enjoying some coffee and breakfast.

"Anytime now?" wondered Konan out loud.

"Three. Two. One. Make some noise." said Pein on cue.

"Katsu!" exclaimed an angry blond, no doubt punishing a foolish raven haired man wore an orange mask…

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Author's Notes: I decided to take a shot at comedic romance. What do you think? I decided to use two of my favorite parings, Pein X Konan and DeiTobi.

I tried to keep them in character but I guess I failed. Honestly I'm not sure what Pein and Konan's personalities are supposed to be like. They only thing I can figure out about them based on the manga is that they are serious but I even failed to convey that…

As far as I am concerned any character in my fan fictions can be alive if I want them to be! Deidara was not killed by "Sosoghay" here.

Sempai is an honorific Tobi uses for Deidara and Chan is the honorific Pein uses for Konan as a form of endearment.

"Un" is what Deidara says at the end of a sentence most of the time. It can be translated to "yeah" or "hmm." But basically it varies depending on the translations you find.

I choose not to include Pein's other bodies because they don't have names yet and I'm too lazy to write for that many more characters.

That store owner dude, I guess you could call that my OC.(Original Character) I didn't really give him a name though and he was simply used to forward my story so I don't care much for him.

My fic is really long(by my standards) so there's bound to be mistakes somewhere…sorry.

Oh yeah, Tobi is alive. Don't worry Deidara didn't kill him.


End file.
